april 3

i was really tired at work and had nominated this to be my day off from exercise. i swim tuesdays, thursdays and one of the weekend days. the club has a schedule where the pool use alternates for men and women. i can only swim (and use the sauna or steam room) on the above days. wednesdays are are good off day for me.

but i got an email from my neighbor S who wanted to go on a ride. she just got a new Felt, her first road bike and she wanted to give it a spin. i took about ten seconds and decided to go. G, her husband who i ride with most Saturday mornings, joined us and the we headed off.

we decided on a flat out and back to downtown coburg. the headwind was tough going out but we got to the turn-around with little grumbling.

S is still getting used to the clip-in pedals but we didn’t have any dismounts or stops until the turnaround. she kept up with the veterans and with a little more experience with efficient shifting will be a fine rider.

on most every ride i hit a spot of melancholy over losing barb. it’s just part of the grieving. it can be remembering her trips to the coburg antique fair on the coburg rides. it can be seeing sacred heart hospital in the distance on the Mc View rides. it can be al green songs on my ipod. it can be just my mind wandering. i reach up and touch her wedding band hanging on my neck and keep going.

after the ride i rode my townie down to a meeting at a local restaurant. i attended two six week series of grief groups and some of us decided to gather on our own. afterwards as i was getting on my bike to leave someone asked if i was taking the river bike path home through the dusk. i said i prefer to ride through downtown, it’s more interesting.

as i was riding i realized i also avoid the bike path that is near to campus because it makes me sad to be there every time. barb rode that path for four years on her Breezer to get to her architecture classes.

sometimes i wonder if it’s just too hard to still be here in eugene. that decision is for another day.


i hung this at the front door in barb’s honor and leave it lit 24/7. it’s a constant along with wren barking as i roll up to the house, to home.



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